Bad Dream

As I was trying to sleep last night I thought "I had a suspiciously positive and relaxed day. Tomorrow will probably be scary as hell." Little did I know...

I had a dream about spiders. I was in a room (for some reason Jake Kotze and Chris Knowles were involved, I could hear them talking) and I was attempting to go to the next room through a hallway. What I didn't see was 3 separate spider webs in the hallway, all with a huge spider in them. Not noticing them, I walked through the hallway. I felt a spider web break on my face and a big spider crawling around on my head. I couldn't move and fell to the ground. I can still feel it biting me and crawling around on my body. There were big white centipedes crawling around somewhere nearby and more spiders in spiderwebs hanging near by. Jake was telling me how to get out of the room but I couldn't move at all. All I wanted to do was get out of this room and into the next one. I had a strange overhead map view of the building and a timer in which the all the spiders in the building would eventually reach me. The other two spiders in the hall were nearby in their webs and there were probably more I couldn't see. The awful part was that it had the potential to be a really fun dream, but these spiders just came out of nowhere and ambushed me. The hallway had a green floor and white walls. I felt genuine, conscious fear of the spiders. I think it was my physical addiction to cigarettes making itself aware in my dream state. The spiderwebs could be the strands of fiberglass insulation (causing asbestos cancer) which are undoubtedly lodged in my sinuses through my nasal passage. I woke up at 12, having been asleep 6 hours, still paralyzed. My sister came downstairs to bum off the few cigarettes I have, very annoying but I am guilty of doing the same to her. Fucking dream spiders making me miss out on a chance to dream talk "face to face" with Chris and Jake.

This is the downside of entering a trance to go to sleep, and an issue which I mentioned in a previous post in which I said something like "My bad dreams usually involve large spiders, but I don't usually feel fear in my dreams anymore". Well, the fear is back. It was unpleasant, but not enough to make me afraid of dreams forever.

The weird thing is, in the reality which I am currently speaking to you from, I'm not afraid of spiders. The spiders in the dream world seem to symbolize fear itself.