The day we've been waiting for...

Today is 3/17, "St. Patrick's Day", or Osiris's Death Day. I'm guessing that the numerous "17"s we've seen flying around are pointing to this date, or just to keep the "Tyrant/Death" theme held strongly in our minds so's we don't act out of order. I'm feeling something today, but it's not good... I had a horrible nightmare last night where my ex-girlfriend attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a roof and I caught her out of a window before she could fall all the way, and unfortunately she slipped from my grasp and I watched her fall... I woke up just afterwards and contacted someone I know who hangs out with her just to see if she was alright and she was. It was hard getting back to sleep after that, especially since I started thinking about her. I woke up today needing cigarettes but I don't have a car or any money. I don't think anyone should ever have to live the way that I have lived for, well, my entire life, much less have to live under a visible militaristic threat of death like in other countries... To sum up, my life has been confined and lonely with one or two bursts of "enlightenment", both in 2006.

Alcohol has played an extremely negative role in my life, as it was the cause for my mother never being around in the early years of my life, and the cause of a breakdown forcing more distance between my ex (the best friend I've ever had) and I. I haven't consumed any alcohol for 3 months now, maybe longer, and I really don't want to drink anymore anyway.

Things are looking quite dark today... Sort of an anxious-depressed thing waiting for sunset to hide in the shadows cast by the urban decay and dead trees...




Klover Klub! "If you weren't lucky enough to be born into our club, you can wallow in your own effluvium until you die. You were born for just that anyway..."

My lower back has been aching. I think it's my kidneys. Maybe I am sensing the overall kidney damage of the Dionysian cult... I think I'm gonna make some coffee (What a hypocrite I am, choosing one harmful liquid to ingest over the other..) and play guitar or something. Been more immersed in music than the daily mind fuck lately anyway... Decoding it is fun, if only the message weren't so freaking grim. Let's all hope that we can influence enough people to make a real change sometime soon. Great, now I sound like Obama....

Speaking of Leos, a girl I talk to from time to time (the Saturnian Cult, college, has her busy at the moment) brought up RFID chips, how evil they are and stuff like that, and she is 18 years old, so I'm really happy that the message is reaching minds in my age group.