Friday, April 3, 2009

Malice Hidden In Surrealism


Xasthur - Malice Hidden in Surrealism

One of my earliest memories was falling into a swimming pool in the early morning hours, when no one was awake. My older sister (who passed away in 2006) heard the splash and saved my life. I remember the abyss of water below me, attempting to swallow me.

I have this feeling inside that returns every now and then to mock me and make me feel shame. It's been happening all throughout my life. I hate it... I feel my soul being eroded the more I allow it to take hold. It's automatic, everything else sort of falls away and I am all alone and sinking into self-loathing thoughts. I wish it would stop but I feel like I deserve to feel this way. It's a moment in time which cycles and never fails to send me to inner hell.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am afraid that is a thought process that pervades throughout the lives of many and characterises the nature of our existence.

I do hope that you will eventually pull yourself out of this inner hell and find beauty in the sweet caress of your inner divinity.

Cheers, my friend.



Andre
The ALIEN Project
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skrambo said...

Thanks. I always come out of it eventually, but sometimes I feel like I might not. It makes me feel selfish, really... What I'm going through right now is nothing compared to what others have to go through. I just can't see that when I'm down in it though.