Repetition (rant)

This is a grumpy morning rant post, don't read it if you're not interested in my personal problems. Thanks :)



It keeps happening. It's just mind-boggling to me how everyday these people do the same exact thing. I've already told them several times that when they enter the room above me to watch TV, it wakes me up, and after TV's on I have no chance of getting back to sleep. Then, they're up there all. day. No breaks, no going out to do anything, no chance of me ever having some peace and quiet to myself. Is it just me or is this the most backwards relationship in the world? When I had a girlfriend, I had to take her out on dates whenever we saw eachother, I could never play video games when we were hanging out (and why would I want to?), and she broke up with me because I was smoking pot. Look at this guy: All those things I would easily lose my girlfriend over, HE IS ALWAYS DOING. He never takes my sister anywhere, they never get tired of doing the same thing over and over and over again, he smokes weed all the time in front of her, and all he ever does now is play video games and watch sports! I guess it doesn't matter since I lost my girlfriend anyway, maybe I was doing it completely wrong. Maybe I should stay at her parents' house with her without paying anything or helping around the house while eating all the food and drinking everything, do this EVERY DAY like I don't have a home to go to (even though this guy does), never take her anywhere besides the liquor store to buy cigarettes for myself (she can't have any), sit on my ass and play video games all day, tell her to shut up constantly, and be an asshole to her entire family. Maybe that would have kept me in a relationship where we were both happy and capable of staying together longer than 6 months. He makes stupid noises when he watches sports, intentionally makes loud noise to make sure he's woken me up, listens to the SHITTIEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD, and does this weird phlegmmy coughing up thing every 20 minutes or so, like an old man. Sexy!

For one, I'm starting to go crazy from being in the same place every day. I'm sure a lot of you are thinking "Why don't you just leave if you hate it so much, you weirdo?", but that's nearly impossible. Another thing, I have social anxiety, and my sister knows that, yet they keep doing this shit! Did they not get the point the last 3 times I hulked out because of this same exact thing??? I think there's a word for this... Oh yes:

Skronk - To annoy someone to the point of madness without realizing it.

These people are "skronking" me to death. Maybe I'm just way too much of a light sleeper, but I can't really control that kind of thing can I? Yesterday my sister just said to me "stop being mean to me" out of nowhere. Here's some advice: go screw yourself! Stop waking me up, stop keeping me awake when I want to sleep, stop watching so much fucking TV, stop giving your mentally challenged boyfriend the time of day because he treats you like shit, stop invading my space, stop doing the same thing EVERY SINGLE DAY and maybe I'll think about being nicer.

For now, all I can do is stop myself from lashing out to avoid further hatred coming my way. Every now and then I reach a breaking point where it's impossible not to say something to them (usually involving incoherent screaming). I really think this is driving me insane (i'm talking about it in a place where it shouldn't even be brought up at all) and there's nothing I can do besides give in and lose precious sleep which I try so hard to attain.