PO'd

My life's growing progressively shittier, believe it or not. I face paradoxes every waking moment, so everything feels like a waste of time or an opportunity lost. I'm not even depressed, amazingly, just extremely pissed off and frustrated at this point. I think we need to be angry now, I feel like whoever's running this fucking show is giving us an opiate and we're just eating it up. I've had the feeling something needs to be done for the last 3 years and it seems like the only people who feel the same way I do are completely on the wrong track (think your average Alex Jones listener/YouTube conspiracy video commenter), and the people I do meet who are cool have pretty much already given up and "surrendered". What are we surrendering to? We're surrendering our time, our space and our souls to an idea. A thought-form which acts as a spiritual virus to keep us in our place, and it sure as hell is succeeding. I used to be certain that things would change by this time, but people are just applying their own perception of reality to something which is beyond what we thought was acceptable. What has spirituality ever done for mankind as a whole? It has caused wars, ruined lives, killed millions and millions of people, and destroyed countries. It's all orchestrated by people who are playing a huge sick joke on mankind, not through universal laws or any sort of demonic power, it's just plain spite and hatred manifested, they do it because they can. Not as long as we are here sharing the planet with them, we have a say in what happens and what doesn't, and they've hypnotized us into thinking they will protect us and always do the right thing because we are the same material, but the joke is on us! This feeling of loneliness is entirely intended through their actions: Think of them (You know who I'm talking about, don't act like you don't) as the ultimate bully. It's that simple. They've been global for a long time now, pushing us around like we're nothing and I'm sick of it. They are provoking us into battle, into some sort of conflict, and it seems like no matter what we do, they win. We choose to fight, they crush us (because they have the masses on their side, including armies, etc.), we choose not to fight, we basically sell our souls for creature comforts and a bland, gray lifestyle marked by ongoing wars which we will ignore (once we "crack" we will no longer have the will to think for ourselves) and we will worship these monsters like they are our gods. Like anyone really has more power over our lives than we alone do... We are seeing this in effect as I speak, it seems like we've seen it all throughout history but that is just how the history books are written, to make the innocent people look docile and accepting of their rulers except for short spurts of rebellion ("they didn't have enough food to live on, poor things had a temper tantrum").

I think we are far beyond proving this thing is here and now, and it's growing tedious to constantly point it out instead of knowing what to do through this monitoring station we've been given (the internet) and we all just hunch over in fear, thinking if we speak out we will certainly be killed. Just the fact that we live this way, in constant fear of being crushed by a huge invisible entity, infuriates me and makes me wonder how we allowed things to get this out of hand... Oh wait, I know what it was: Our submission to "faith", our submission to thinking if we put someone in charge they will do everything we would do if we were in the same position. This is the debt we pay for our hedonism. Our laziness paved the way for tyrants to become the people who would take action, our reality has been slowly molded over time into a hideous abstraction of the truth. It has to do with how much we want to fit in with one another and feel accepted, we fear being pushed out of our "tribe" because we still have that part of our mind, we just never think to change tribal rules to include more people instead of push them away.

Growing up, I never had faith in anything. I wasn't religious, I wasn't atheist, I wasn't concerned with any theology or any science or any explanation given by people I didn't even know personally. I simply existed, I experienced, I felt the most powerful emotions and never feared any sort of hell. I lived half in my dreams and half in "real reality". I had energy, a brain and my body, and I felt like I could do anything, if it weren't for these pesky rules and regulations for everything! I hated sports (never wanted to hurt anyone, wasn't into brainless repetition of guidelines and memorizing stupid rules), loved nature and exploring, hated corporations (the way they always tried to appeal to me made me sick), hated money, loved my mother, my brother and my friends, and never ONCE thought about time, God, or having a "job". I was going to be a musician, a cartoonist, an artist and just live what I thought would be the coolest life ever, even though there was all this shit around me telling me "no, you have to live the way we want you to", I never once thought I'd be sucked into it. Even during school, I was vigilant and rebellious to a point. After that, I was certain I could make it by without giving all my time away to some fucking corporation, but I failed to accomplish that and got suckered into doing something I never, ever wanted to do in all of my life: Work a humiliating, dehumanizing corporate job for minimum wage. It was during this time when my dreams were stomped into the ground that I began doing drugs, and wondering where my ideas went, I looked into the Third Eye. I had heard there was a drug which could open it, and I took a huge risk and did it. It was in Robitussin! What the fuck was it doing there? I remember having that feeling of childhood come flying back like a good friend I hadn't seen in many years. It was as if I had found another "me" inside myself which I could talk to instead of other people (which I had found an increasing amount of who I could not relate to) and I went on a voyage through my own mind to see what me and this other "me" (my third eye) could learn through our relationship. God, did I learn a whole fucking lot during that first experience with the drug, and the 3 times after. But with any drug, there was a bad side effect: Before I had taken it, I had the ability to "trance out" anywhere I was and just live in my own mind, and it was normal to me. After I took it, I realized I could not do this anymore. It was as if my imagination had been replaced with a signal from somewhere else entirely that I could not shut off.

My point is, there are many obstacles between us and reaching our ideal existence, our ultimate reality. They appear to be huge and monstrous, but are as easily dealt with as forming a group and saying as loud as we can, "we're not taking this shit anymore, give us our lives back, give us our land back, give us our time back and go the fuck away". It is this anger which keeps us alive, it is pure energy which fuels our emotions, and the energy-essence knows when it's being wronged and reacts accordingly. I'm tired of not having a voice, which is (partly) why I started this blog. Fertility cults exist to create the problem of "too many people" so we can be herded around like animals by inhuman tyrants, rather than each of us having our own say in what happens around us we are given the impression that this would never work by "their" agents who intentionally rig this broken system so the results pander to those already in a position of power. I'm pissed off that more people aren't applying their energy and their anger towards a goal that would help everyone, rather than just themselves and a small group of elitist fucks.

That's all, folks... Tune in tomorrow for more "sacred symbols" being flashed around like gang signs, same as usual here.