Deprivation

The past 8 hours of my life have been absolutely horrible. Ever since deciding to quit drinking corporate cola I have found it harder and harder to sleep. On the night of the 29th I only received 2 hours of sleep before waking up. I wasn't able to go back to sleep. Yesterday went somewhat normally, save for the usual delirium. But last night, as I attempted to sleep, I slowly realized that this was not going to happen. My sister's cat has been in heat for the past 3 days. All throughout the night, she makes an incredibly irritating and loud sound. Every rare instance where I began to doze off, she would start again. I cannot describe the level of powerlessness and frustration this stirred up in me. If I closed my door in a futile attempt to block out the sound, my dog would scratch at it wanting to come in. I only got 2 hours of sleep again because when I locked her in my room to have the door closed (and when the cat fell asleep or something) she scratched and whined again to get out, instantly waking me up. My entire body aches, my teeth are sore from grinding, my mind is being sucked into a vortex of hate, and just as an added bonus, sometime during the night my rabbit broke one of his claws and he is now nearly unable to walk from the pain. I just can't believe the snowball effect that is taking place. Every time I tell myself the universe is naturally good and it's just my perceptions that need to change, shit like this happens. We are clearly in what could be described as hell. Nature is beautiful on the outside but totally cruel and unfair on the inside. People who are innocent and actually care for others are punished the worst out of anyone, while people who lie and murder are given all the power that could potentially change things. It is truly a pointless, endless struggle to see anything here as being inherently good and balanced. If there is a god, he is a fucking bastard.