The Delusion of Complete Self-Reliance

I am going through a period right now where pretty much everyone around me is angry with me because I don't have a job. What they don't understand is that it's not that fucking easy, especially for someone with basically no credentials, no high school diploma, no reason for anybody to hire him (and they wouldn't know, because they were all basically handed their jobs). Everyone's treating me pretty unfairly so I'm just going to vent.

The people around me are stuck in this illusion that freedom can be gained. Maybe I just insert myself into situations where I am confronted with taking on the task of getting over my social anxieties and my dislike of being a corporate slave, but it's starting to drive me (and everyone around me) a little crazy. People don't realize they have this absolutist mindset where there is absolutely no other option besides giving in to the flaws of the world outside and accepting them as my own. When they try and help me with this, I intuitively push them away. They're like, tempting me with this poison apple of opportunity that can really only lead to loss, and it's making me uncomfortable. I have a serious problem with just giving in.

They all try to make me feel like I don't actually know anything about the world, and that makes me question myself. I don't mind questioning myself, but when the conclusion is that I am always wrong and everyone else is always right (the way it seems to me most of the time), I fight it. I feel like none of my friends even want to know how I feel about the world and our situation as human beings. They're all mad at me for something that is entirely out of my control, which is justified because they are paying out of their own pocket to support me in these times (even though I am not a costly person at all). But it makes me wonder why things are like this, and why they haven't thought about it more, and why they seem to just give in to this big corporate entity that only takes away things that actually matter, like friends. People give up their humanity for a little spending cash and it makes me sick to my stomach.

This is why I feel that complete financial self-reliance in our culture is a total lie. But no one around me will consider my feelings for one second. We CANNOT rely entire on our individual self for everything. It's usually people who still rely on their parents for things who say that I am wrong for thinking that. Now, I need to get a job. I really do, because money is important in our society and you cannot live without it. But the attitudes my friends are taking towards my pursuit is damaging to my confidence, and the pressure only makes me that much more of a nervous wreck. They make me feel like a parasite, like a worm rather than a human being with feelings, thoughts and aspirations. But if I ever told them this, they would still just have to be right (because the slave mass consensus says "never ever rely on other people" and if everyone else feels that way, it must be right), and there's nothing I can do about that.

I would just much rather we live in harmony than constantly be competing and arguing about every fucking thing that happens. Maybe I'm just not a very argumentative person, but to each their own, and people don't realize how ignorant their attitudes and opinions are sometimes because they are "college educated" and feel superior to someone such as myself who educates themselves. I have to keep a lot of thoughts and feelings inside just to keep my friends, and the seams are starting to burst. The self-reliance they seem to want to punch into my brain is the opposite of what they think, because I can rely on myself to separate truth from fiction.

Done.